Controlling Your Anger with a Hiss
Everybody gets angry. It’s a normal, biological protection mechanism that gets triggered when we believe we’re being mistreated or that the world is operating against us. It is also an expression of…
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What Your Anxiety Is Trying to Tell You?
Just like the doorbell rings to alert us to the arrival of a guest, anxiety tells us that some core emotion buried within us is pushing to be expressed. Take, for example,…
To err is human. But now, you must apologize.
Sheila was backing out of her parking space, at the grocery store and accidentally hit another car. Bob screamed at his boss, for making him work late on Friday night, date night….
Beating up on yourself this holiday season? Stop! Give yourself the gift of self-compassion.
Amelia, a struggling young actress, plopped down on my sofa. She’d never been to see a therapist before, but she had to find out why she was so depressed. “I’m a great…
Mending fences: How to heal shredded relationships after a damaging presidential election
Rob and Mary have supported each other through health crises, career ups and downs, the raising of five children. But even they have one subject that they cannot discuss without thoughts of…
Attachment styles — the ties that bind or break
Little Betty loved her parents. And while they loved her, too, they didn’t seem to have time for her. They were always rushing. They were always running out the door. Betty learned…
Could it be me? When our own fears and hurts threaten our relationships.
“We are never so vulnerable as when we love, and never so hopelessly unhappy as when we lose the object of our love.” ~ Sigmund Freud Haley met Eric on a sunny day…
Be kind to yourself — blaming, shaming and criticizing never help
When Grace entered individual therapy as an adult, she told me a story that dated back to her first day of kindergarten: She had felt terrified that morning. The classroom was so…
Don’t let betrayal poison your marriage
Julie and Eric were just work friends, but they started eating lunch together in the office cafeteria. Julie loved talking to Eric. He was a great listener, and he gave her excellent…
Do you trust the one you love?
Few couples would dream of saying they don’t trust each other. And yet, it’s the No. 1 issue I see in my office. Most arguments, at their core, are about trust. It…
Let’s rethink the dances and patterns that trip us up
A baby screeches, arches her back and waves her little fists indignantly. Her mother is ignoring her, and she will do anything to get her mom to reconnect. A young woman glares at…
When New Year’s resolutions take a tumble, remember three little words
Most of us start the New Year with the hope of making changes — to exercise regularly, lose weight, be more productive, be closer to the ones we love, etc. These resolutions…
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