Don’t let betrayal poison your marriage
Julie and Eric were just work friends, but they started eating lunch together in the office cafeteria. Julie loved talking to Eric. He was a great listener, and he gave her excellent…
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Do you trust the one you love?
Few couples would dream of saying they don’t trust each other. And yet, it’s the No. 1 issue I see in my office. Most arguments, at their core, are about trust. It…
Let’s rethink the dances and patterns that trip us up
A baby screeches, arches her back and waves her little fists indignantly. Her mother is ignoring her, and she will do anything to get her mom to reconnect. A young woman glares at…
When New Year’s resolutions take a tumble, remember three little words
Most of us start the New Year with the hope of making changes — to exercise regularly, lose weight, be more productive, be closer to the ones we love, etc. These resolutions…
Try something new this holiday season
There is no better place for me to find inspiration than in my office, where I have the privilege of listening to my clients. This time of year, the common conversation threads…
Forgiving others is the gift you give yourself
If I were to ask my readers to raise their hands if they have ever found themselves NOT on speaking terms with a friend, a relative, a sibling or an ex, I…
Ready to end the same tired, dead-end fights? It may not be as hard as you think.
When I meet with new couples, they usually know the topics that trigger arguments: In-laws. Money. Kids. Housework. What they don’t know is why both parties get hurt time and time again. I…
The New Frontier of Sex and Intimacy by Dr Sue Johnson
Instead of reading my blog this month, I hope you’ll watch the TED Talk on sex and intimacy by my mentor and friend, Dr. Sue Johnson. But before you reach for your…
Hate those nasty confrontations that only upset you? There’s a better way to handle conflict.
Last month I promised to write more about physiological self-soothing. Staying calm while in an emotional or heated conversation with those you love can be a very hard thing to do. If…
Stonewalling — another relationship poison
When couples contact me, they sometimes say that they need help with their communication. When I meet with them, I often notice that they do an amazing job communicating with me, colleagues…
Contempt — the relationship poison
When Bill greeted his wife at the end of the day, he could predict how the rest of the evening was going to go. Her voice was low-pitched and tense, and he…
Being defensive in your relationship is natural, but it can be toxic
So many arguments seem to start at the end of a long, hard day. Can you relate to what I hear so often in my office? A couple is sitting around the…
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