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Hate those nasty confrontations that only upset you? There’s a better way to handle conflict.

Last month I promised to write more about physiological self-soothing. Staying calm while in an emotional or heated conversation with those you love can be a very hard thing to do. If you are having a problem calming yourself in order to talk rationally to your partner, it is best...

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Stonewalling — another relationship poison


When couples contact me, they sometimes say that they need help with their communication. When I meet with them, I often notice that they do an amazing job communicating with me,  colleagues or friends.  But when it comes to this very important relationship with their love partner — some of...

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Contempt — the relationship poison

When Bill greeted his wife at the end of the day, he could predict  how the rest of the evening was going to go. Her voice was low-pitched and tense, and he knew she was upset with him for some reason. Anticipating an attack,  he reacted defensively. He barely looked at her...

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Being defensive in your relationship is natural, but it can be toxic


So many arguments seem to start at the end of a long, hard day. Can you relate to what I hear so often in my office? A couple is sitting around the dinner table, and the husband is telling an involved story about work. Then the wife interrupts. Wife: “It...

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Are you criticizing or complaining? The difference can mean your marriage.

criticizing or complaining

It’s painful when you and your partner find yourselves having the same argument over and over, and you can practically feel the distance growing between you. Before I tell you ways to get out of this rut, let me share what I hear in my office almost daily: Wife: “You...

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Things you can do every day to strengthen your relationship

strengthen your relationship

There is a Pablo Neruda poem that begins: “What’s wrong with you, with us, what’s happening to us?”  I hear those same questions, those same doubts expressed regularly in my office. It’s only human to wonder, what is love really? And if I haven’t found it with my spouse, will...

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Keeping the Love Alive on Great Day Houston

Keeping the Love Alive

Keeping the Love Alive Liliane talks about a couple things that can help keep the love alive on Great Day Houston. Specifically about talking about expectations in beginning of the relationship and remembering to ask questions and spend time with your spouse.

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Conflict Resolution in Marriage

Conflict Resolution

Let’s face it. Every couple in a committed relationship will argue at one point or another. Having disagreements is a normal part of any relationship. In fact, it can actually bring about greater intimacy if both couples can overcome these hurdles through dialogue and compromise. The real challenge is not...

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Real tips for real parents who really want to throw in the baby towel!

Real tips for real parents

Bob and Lisa have just hung up the phone after talking with the doctor’s office. They are both elated! They just had the good news confirmed: Lisa is indeed pregnant. After a few years of struggling with fertility issues, their baby is now on the way. Lisa told me that...

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